Long-time Alaskans, known to one another as sourdoughs, have a loosely-defined list of newbie (or cheechako) mistakes. When you tell a sourdough, especially older coworkers, about some goofy thing you just did, they just shake their heads, call you a cheechako, and if they are in a kindly mood then make sure you haven't sustained permanent damage.
The first cheechako mistake I made involved a surprise swim in a glacial river (of earlier post fame), and the second was the far less colorful wearing of garments of inappropriate weight for the weather. The third, again a colorful one, took place late last week. Early in the morning, we heard a really loud clatter. Arising to see what was the matter, we grabbed home defense items that we had to hand. For me, this was a heavy book (I know! but it was really early and my thinking was not extremely clear at this point) and for Art it was a can of bear repellent(powerful pepper spray).
As we made our way into the spare room, I heard a tiny little hiss, lasting maybe half a second. I had time to say "No, was that..." and then the wave of pain washed over us. Coughing, sneezing, weeping, we staggered into the most distant part of our little apartment. After a few moments, we realized things weren't going to improve unless we let the bad air out and some good air in. We staggered back through the apartment, opening the two openable windows and turning on the kitchen and bathroom fans while swabbing tears and mucus from our faces. Since it was one of those well-below freezing mornings, we soon added shivering to our spasmodic performance. To make a long story a little shorter, we took turns venturing into the Ground Zero room to see if it was tolerable, as we still had to get dressed for work, and our clothes are stored in there. Eventually the air exchanged to the point where we could get dressed and go about our days. However, there are still things in this room that make our skin burn.
I was kind of determined to keep this particular adventure to myself, but as I showed up to work looking all weepy and bereft, I wound up having to explain. After they got done laughing, my coworkers kindly made sure I hadn't sustained any permanent damage. Then they told me similar tales - apparently people have mishaps with their bear spray pretty often. Usually they freeze in cars and crack, rendering them undrivable, so I guess it could have been worse. They also told me a few of the other dumb rookie mistakes I will probably make before I graduate to sourdough. So that's something to look forward to!
As an upside, as soon as the misery dies down a little, pepper spray smells absolutely delicious - sort of a very piquant paprika scent. But I don't recommend garnishing your house with it.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
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