Jane.

I'd say "here", but I'm disassociating. Really I'm somewhere else. Possibly Tahiti. It's a hollow shell of me throwing out vitamins and bathrugs and dragging everything else into discrete piles on the floor.

Final final push now. Movers coming tomorrow. Must focus.

There's nothing quite like a day like this, where I deliberately set my alarm because today really is the final day. Trash must go in trash bags and moved out of the way, or else I'll be paying to sail it through the Panama Canal. The lawn must be mowed. Anything that going ashore must go there today. Now. Right now. Really.

So what did I do? Hit snooze. And again. For two hours. Then I got up, made coffee, and surfed for 3 hours. 3 hours! I got stuck on James Lilek's website, but really that's where I stopped when I hit the procrastinate button. It was 11 o'clock before I did a single useful thing.

Talked to Art and whinged about how much I have to do and how little gumption I have within me to acheive all this. While talking to him I wandered about and managed to fill up a couple of garbage bags. So he inspired me to get a start. After we hung up, the gumption supply had advanced to the point where I could face the lawn, so I did that, and then gave the lawnmower and it's accessories and support system to the neighbor who wanted it. While I was doing that, the neighbor who is supposed to be getting the grill disappeared, so I couldn't really roll it over to his house. That will have to wait. Filled several boxes with food and house supplies and sent out a final email to friends and family members to come and get what I have left. Whatever no one will take is going in the trash. I don't even care any more.

The oddest things are not getting takers. I have a full set of Bailey's coffee cups and a pot and sugar bowl and creamer. Can't pay people to take them away. I think they are kind of cute, but we never use them. They are the one thing we have that is too 'cute' to use. Well, they are up to the curb if there aren't any takers. I find myself resenting them now. Stupid smug winking coffee cups. Go to hell.

Well, the thing to focus on is that after tomorrow is over, God willing I will be with Art again. I miss him a lot, in ways I wouldn't have imagined before this move.